Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
wanna go halves on a baby?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
