hell yes lets make some ravioli
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
