There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
