I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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