Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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