i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
