Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
