fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize