I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
