He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
