If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
