I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
