he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
