Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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