Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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