Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
