yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
