you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize