I am midnight drunk by noon
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
