i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
