he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
