Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
