Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
