i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
