i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
