just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
