shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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