So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
