White coat. Heels.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
