just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
