Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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