I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
