do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You ruined the universe
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
