wat bout pragnant strippers??
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
