Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
