New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
