I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
