And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
