There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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