you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
