does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
