if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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