I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
