My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
