My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
