I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
