We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
