East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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