idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
