forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
