please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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